A WHISPER IN THE DESERT

The brothers sought a word on prayer from Abba Evagrius. He answered them, “When I was a young man, I was given to easy anger, so I asked the Lord for His Grace to put it away from me. He did not. I turned to Him for many years, with prayers and fastings and vigils, asking for the gift of patience, but His back was always from me. Now I am an old man and the Lord has granted me that for which I so long asked. While I pondered on the years of empty asking, a Voice said ‘I wanted you to pray.’ ”—from Abba Evagrius’ Texts on Prayer

This is what God wants from us. We are each made, St Thomas Aquinas says, to be “friends of God.”

Fr Glenn Spencer, an old friend of mine, convinced me a couple of years ago to sign up for Facebook. He’s one of those bright, techno-savvy priests who’s up on all the latest trends and how to use them every one. He’s a techno-hare. I, conversely, am the technologically timid turtle, who gets baffled every time I have to get back into Facebook. Once I’m there, I still can’t quite figure why. What’s the point of announcing to the world that I believe Jezebel is the best movie Hollywood ever produced?

One of the things it took me a long time to figure out is who all these people are who want to be my Facebook “friends.” Evidently what this means in not so much what you and I—and, more importantly, Cicero and St Thomas Aquinas mean by “friends”—today a “friend” seems to be more like a “contact.” I receive several “friendship” requests a week from people I don’t know and when I look now and then at who some of these actually are, other than the fact that we’re Adam’s descendants, I have nothing in common with many of them.

God has called us to be His friends—not His contacts or nodding acquaintances—but His intimates. This is why He made you and—sit down—not much else matters to Him. He will do with us, Abba Evagrius learned, whatever it takes to get us to pay attention. He seemed to turn His back on Abba’s prayer for patience—certainly a good thing to pray for—so Abba would keep praying. To forge the bond He wants to create between your soul and His, the Lord will give you gifts or strip them from you.

Why do good things happen to you? Because He is the Lover of souls and wants to draw you to Himself as the source of all good. Why do bad things happen? Because He is the Lover of souls and wants to draw you to Himself as the only True Joy there is.

He is indeed, as Scripture says, the all-consuming Fire. He burns everything away but your soul—who you really are—to bring you to your knees.

You and I were created to be His sons and daughters, priests and priestesses of His Creation. That’s why He made Adam and Eve and set them in the Garden. But we, like they, fritter away our High Calling and grub after the tinsel of the world—pleasure or power, possessions or pride.

So He does whatever it takes to get our attention, to wake us up from the nightmares we create in our lives and to which we so tenaciously cling.

Even the good—the patience Abba sought, our families, our health, our much-knowing, the peace of our favorite room, the love of a spouse—all these will be stripped from us. Only prayer—the cry of the soul—will be left us.

And, like Abba Evagrius, we too will someday hear the Voice whisper: “I wanted you…”