LEARNING LOVE

“We fear what we do not know. Is it to be wondered then, that we trust God so little? Learn these words: ‘Perfect love casts out fear.’ ”—Abba Mark the Greek

“Learn these words” doesn’t mean “memorize this.” Abba Mark means “discover the meaning of these words in your life. Put them to the test, try them out, make them your own.”

Fear freezes us up. When I give way to fear, it moves in like a particularly bossy and unpleasant relative and takes over my house. When I'm afraid I ruminate on my fears, turning over and over in my mind the reasons I should be afraid. I fret over them, unfaced . When I fret, I don’t think—I only dither. And when I don’t think, I don’t act—I only react. The irony is, I'm reacting against something which hasn’t happened.

Abba Mark says “we fear what we don’t know.” I’m ignorant about the future. What’s going to happen? What’s going to happen to me?

Down the highway from my little ranchito is a big sign: “Indian Spirit Guide-Consultations, $25.” Religious statues populate the property outside the Spirit Guide’s house. The Blessed Virgin, the Lord Jesus and numerous angels are in prominent view, obviously vouching for the reliability of the Spirit Guide. The advertising signs around the property have been showing signs of wear, and several weeks back, one of the largest was blown apart by high winds. The other day, all the old signs disappeared; now, new ones are in place. The statues have been freshly whitewashed. It’s 2011 and business is booming for the Spirit Guide.

We turn to Spirit Guides and Ouija boards because we’re afraid. We don’t know what’s going to happen to us and so we look for some kind of Cosmic Assurance that things will be okay. We turn to alcohol and food and drugs and sex—and some people turn to religion—because we want to hide from fear.

But fear knows where we are all the time, it doesn't move on because we pretend it's not there. The angry aunt still occupies our parlor, scowling and forever muttering, “You just better be careful, little mister.” We can’t hide—so we twist alcohol and food and drugs and sex, yes, and religion, too—all potentially good things, into substitutes for God.

To grasp the meaning of “perfect love casts out fear” isn’t to know what’s going to happen. The person of faith has no more idea of what the future holds than does the Spirit Guide down the road. But they are certain of this: fear can’t stay in the same room—not even the same house—as love. “Perfect love” doesn’t know everything, but it firmly grasps the One Necessary Thing: I belong to God. He creates me, redeems me and sanctifies me, day by day.

What comes next, regardless of what it is—winning the lottery, having the person you love tell you they love you too, having a flat tire, or being diagnosed with cancer—assures us God is good.

We’re not made to tremble in silent fear at the disaster lurking just around the bend. You and I were made to sing hymns of praise to God, not knowing what’s going to happen tomorrow, but certain that whatever it is, God’s love will be there waiting for us. Hidden? Probably. Understood? Rarely. But always present, the One Thing that never changes.