HOW TO SET OTHERS STRAIGHT

A monk asked Abba Mark the Greek, “If I see one of the brothers do something contrary to what is right, what should I do?" The old man said, “Be careful that your concern is according to God; before all, that you take no pleasure in his sin or correction. To speak of his sin to others is far from the Gospel; to speak to him alone is to obey the Gospel law; to speak to him of his sin not at all, but to cry to God on his behalf—this is the work of angels."—from The Sayings of the Desert Fathers

As soon as God dusted His hands off after making Adam, Scripture says He thought “It’s not good for man to be alone.” He took some more dirt and formed Eve, plucked out one of Adam’s ribs, and began the human race.

This story from Holy Writ is meant to tell us more than how we came to be men and women. That rib tells us we’re part of each other in the most basic of ways. The ancient story of God’s breathing life into a man and woman from whom we all come may seem quaint, but only a few decades ago geneticists made an identical claim—less poetic than Genesis—but pointing to the same truth. Australian aborigine, Louisiana Cajun and Boston socialite, we’re part of each other, linked at the most basic levels by our Creator Himself.

That genetic truth isn’t the point of the Bible story. “It’s not good for man to be alone,” means “It’s good for us to be with someone.” We need each other.

As much as I may think I don’t, I need you. Without my parents, I would have no existence. Without my teachers, I’d have no knowledge. Without my family and friends, I would have no love. God made us to be with each other and we need each other in ways we don’t understand.


Our word intercession comes from Latin; it means “to stand between,” to act on behalf of someone else. Intercessory prayer is what we do when we pray for each other. If I ask you to pray for me, I’m asking you to be my intercessor. I’m asking you “to stand between” God and me, to pray on my behalf.

We can fulfill such a request by saying the person’s name to God. Christians for many centuries have kept lists of names, families and friends, sometimes even people they’ve never met, people living and dead, which they regularly say before God. We bring such names to Mass and fulfill out duties as intercessors for those we’ve been asked to remember. Such remembrances rise to Heaven like fine incense.

Intercession, though, isn’t just rattling names off a list. The monk asked Abba Mark what to do when he saw someone misbehave. “What am I bound to do for my brother?”

First Abba Mark tells him what not to do. Don’t delight—even secretly—in his sin. Don’t be glad you’re better, because you aren’t; your sins may not be the same, but they’re just as deadly. When I talk to you about somebody else’s sins, I’m letting you know I’m better than them.

Speak to the sinner privately, if you must, Abba says. You evidently think you have something of value to say.

But he suggests a higher way. Become their intercessor. Stand between the person and his sin before God. This is what Christ does—He is, St Paul says, “the Mediator between God and men.”

We’re not competent to be judges of each other—our knowledge is incomplete and our hearts imperfect. The world has enough judges. But we can be intercessors, pleading the case of others before the All-Just Judge. In so doing, we can open the gates of mercy and Grace into the lives of others—and be ourselves drawn deep into the Heart of God.